“Hidden narcissists feel even more uncomfortable with their obvious insecurities than overt narcissists, so they tend to use a tactic called projective identification,” Malkin says. Think of it as a game with emotional hot potatoes, with feelings of insecurity. Because of all the more subtle tactics of hidden narcissists, it is harder for others to notice that they are being manipulated. Hidden narcissism, also known as vulnerable narcissism or silent narcissism, is less well known than narcissistic personality disorder (NDP), as defined in the fifth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5). People with secret narcissism have an excessive need for admiration and right. They tend to have no empathy and have difficulty establishing and maintaining relationships. This refers to narcissistic insecurity. People with NPD are very afraid that their mistakes or failures will be seen by others. Exposing their most intimate feelings of inferiority would shatter the illusion of their superiority. Avoiding social interactions helps reduce the likelihood of exposure. Experiencing or experiencing narcissistic anger can be a frightening experience. Understand what fuels anger, how you can protect yourself, and how.
An open narcissist is often outgoing, quite extravagant, and may even confess to narcissism — he wears it as a kind of badge of honor, Brill says. Could there be other people in the room who have the same exaggerated motivations for admiration and importance, but may be harder to identify? Yes, in fact, there might be someone near you who is narcissistic but presents themselves in a less obvious way. While typical types of narcissistic behaviors are described as overt or more extroverted, narcissism is not always extroverted. Some of the characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder (NDP) are inner feelings of high self-esteem and an exaggerated sense of self-importance. A total inability to cope with criticism is a telltale sign of hidden narcissism. The hidden narcissist tends to carry his heart on his sleeve, Fox says, and is therefore often slightly injured. They could then use this crime to attract the attention of others or to present themselves as victims. The hidden narcissist will experience most of the same thoughts and feelings, but they will be less obvious with their expression of uniqueness.
It may take longer for friends and colleagues to notice the features. Often, narcissists want to talk to people who have a high level of empathy. Empaths are people who are donors and very forgiving. They may be easier for narcissists to exploit because of their friendly nature. Hidden narcissists, or vulnerable narcissists as they are sometimes called, are emotionally fragile and sensitive to even limited amounts of perceived criticism. They seem very stressed and preoccupied with many concerns.2 When it comes to interpersonal relationships, the secret narcissist will seem shy, reserved, and self-deprecating. They will constantly compare and judge what others have in terms of happiness, possessions, and relationships.2 According to the American Journal of Psychiatry, undercover narcissists have an “unrealistic and extremely fragile sense of self that leads to a lack of engagement in the world.” This lack of engagement, combined with a general lack of empathy (common in the NDP), makes it almost impossible for hidden narcissists to connect with others in meaningful ways. Hidden narcissists and overt narcissists have deficits in their ability to regulate their self-esteem, and both must meet the criteria for NPD to be diagnosed. In a mutual convo where both parties are interested in what the other person has to say, you usually get social cues that your interlocutor listens to because they nod their head or ask you questions. What you`ll often notice during a conversation with an undercover narcissist is that they seem disinterested or distracted while you`re talking to them, Brill says. Most people have probably used this manipulation tactic at some point, perhaps without realizing it. But people with secret narcissism often use passive-aggressive behavior to convey frustration or make themselves appear superior.
In reality, NDP is not that simple. It occurs in a broad spectrum that includes a number of potential characteristics. Experts generally agree that there are four different subtypes. One of them is hidden narcissism, also called vulnerable narcissism. Another thing, a true narcissist is someone who lacks personal insight, and so very often they will not notice that they show certain narcissistic traits. “We all have narcissistic qualities from time to time — it`s part of the human experience,” Polesetsky says. “But when these behaviors start causing suffering in your life, like the end of your relationships, then it becomes a problem that requires serious self-reflection.” Since infiltrated narcissists have no problem exploiting others, they have no healthy boundaries. Therefore, it is important that people in their lives set limits for them. While not all narcissists are unfaithful, many of their traits can make them more likely to be unfaithful compared to someone who is not narcissistic. Narcissists tend to need a lot of validation from those around them, and they feel the need to be admired. Like all narcissistic types, hidden narcissists are master manipulators. And they`re going to manipulate you in a passive way, so you often feel like you`re the problem and something is wrong with you, Brill says.
Hidden narcissism is a more subtle type of narcissism. A hidden narcissist lives with the need for admiration and affirmation, an unstable sense of self-importance and self-importance, and emotional fragility. Their expression of these needs and vulnerability is more introverted and passive-aggressive than the typical or open narcissist. It can be helpful to point out to a narcissist if they`ve done something rude or mean. This must be done with caution so as not to expect a backlash from aggression. The secret narcissist certainly yearns for importance and thirst for admiration, but he may seem different from those around him.
